First of all, I read an interview in which Jackson says the extended editions are for the fans but the theatrical versions are better, at least for the theater. I must admit that the extended edition did seem to drag a bit in the theater. And yet I was so happy to see all the added bits. So as a fan, I definitely prefer the extended edition, but I see what Jackson means -- the movies are for non-fans as well, those who have never read the books, and the shorter versions are faster-paced, and probably better for anyone who does not already consider themselves a Tolkien fan. Indeed my friends, non-fans, probably wished the movie had been cut even more, to a normal length of between two and two and a half hours.
I also find it interesting that several professional reviewers have opined that RotK could have been shorter, even as they give the movie high marks. I suspect these reviewers would not call themselves Tolkien fans, even if they have read the book. They consider the length of the final movie a forgivable excess, but I have a feeling most of them would have preferred to see the movie end shortly after the Ring is unmade. They might represent the view of people who have never read the book, and who would never post on this board. And indeed I wonder if Peter Jackson ever wished he could have left out the Grey Havens, and decided not to do so because he feared the wrath of the fans.

Now as to FotR, I am so glad I went to see it again in the theater. I was wondering how many people would be there, but during a blizzard on a Saturday at 8:30 there were at most 120 people in the theater, despite the fact that this is the only theater showing this film in all of New York City. Still, how many people does even a blockbuster movie draw during a blizzard on a Saturday at 8:30 in a downtown theater? Not many, I would guess. None of the first-run movies on the other 20 screens of the multiplex seemed at all crowded.
I own a DVD player, and watched the extended edition many times. Before that I saw the theatrical version of FotR three times. I found this experience my most pleasant and moving, mostly because I have come to terms with the many changes from the book, and had forgotten the quality of this production. Quality acting, quality set design, quality effects, quality writing, quality direction -- whatever I may think about the alterations from the books (and I admit I am attached to the books), I marveled at the quality.

I will cite just one example. When Boromir confronts Frodo, I completely believed the scene. I did not think about how they managed to make Frodo look short, or Boromir look tall. I did marvel at the broken head of an immense statue in the scene, but found it completely convincing, down to the rotten leaves in the cracks of age. That immense head belonged in that scene, and the actors belonged in their roles

I also believe that repeated viewings help me believe in the fantasy. I know the first time I saw FotR I marveled so much at the obvious effects that I sometimes had a hard time forgetting they were effects. Plus, of course, I was comparing the images to those in my head from years of reading the books. Now I accept the images as part of the world of the movie, and find it easier to emotionally fall into the story.
I should be well prepared, therefore, for RotK, after seeing FotR and TT several times each, and seeing each of them in the theaters in the two weeks leading up to RotK. I am glad, too, that I did not get tickets to Trilogy Tuesday. How pleasant it was to walk into the theater a few minutes before the movie started, sit in the best seat in the house, and go home to sleep at a reasonable hour! There is something wonderful about a revved-up crowd, of course, but there is something wonderful about a semi-private screening in a large theater as well!