After Chairman Anthony Burdge & I attended this year’s ToyFair in NYC, we were eagerly anticipating the arrival of some product to review. In addition to filling our pockets with scores of freebies, being acquainted with some fantastical traveling gnomes (watch for our review…or stories from our gnome), and being assaulted by a beleaguered and desperate Game Developer pleading the value of a questionable trivia game named after brain tissue, we were enchanted by Teddy Scares. I was taken back to my childhood when faced with a seven & a half foot crimson bear with white eyes and a broken heart. I was in love! Dragging Anthony to the Spartan booth (well Spartan for ToyFair standards), I marveled at the bears & realized the reason for the low-key décor: the bears spoke for themselves. Not literally, but these exquisite creations didn’t need all the mumbo-jumbo so many other toy toters think toy buyers & collectors “need.” Teddy Scares, a line of teddy bear gone awry, comes from the demented designs of Joe DiDomenico and Phil Nannay, co-founders of Applehead Factory Design Studio.

I’ve always had a ‘soft spot’ for teddy bears. I still have my first bear, sitting on my night-table today. Innocuously called “Teddy,” he used to travel with my dad on business trips. I was wont to put the brown little bear, like some charmed talisman, into my father’s suitcase the night before a trip, in order to ensure that my dad would come home again. I branched onto more elaborate bears and more elaborate names for them as I got older—many of them were named for knights of the Round Table. But, at some point around 13 (the recommended “unlucky age” marked on the Teddy Scares box) I went beyond collecting bears, and began collecting skulls…skulls named after Shakespeare’s Prince Hal and Byron. I have about a dozen either named Harry or George. Go figure. Where did I make the crossover? I’m not entirely certain (although it did involve my old paper route, my mother, a Halloween display, and a customer that never gave me a good tip), but the DiDomenico and Nannay, the creators of Teddy Scares, have tapped into this deranged nerve and created an extraordinary product, part Gothic horror, part childhood comfort, as DiDomenico states in the Company’s Profile: “…thrown into a blender.”

But, aren’t we the New York Tolkien Society? Don’t we concern ourselves with dwarf & hobbit, elves & men, mortal & immortal folk—sorry, I got carried away there for a moment. To answer the question, yes we are & yes we do. However, I believe our objective, or one of our objectives, is to help foster the Enchantment Professor Tolkien wrote of and brought to us. Personally, I find a sense of this Enchantment in these bears.

My mother arrived at my apartment, holding a box. But, not any box. Anthony & I had been promised a package of material to review by DiDomenico at ToyFair. I was honestly expecting nothing more than a press packet and a CD of Jpegs of the various bears in the product line, all nestled inside an inconspicuous envelope from our dearly beloved Postal Service. I never expected what we received—and what gave my old dad a bit of a fright—a wooden crate that would’ve made Chris Lee’s Mummy blush with jealousy. Creepy labels adorned the rough wood planking, labels that read:

“NOTICE: This product contains materials that may grow violent,” “Contents may cause insanity,” and—my favorite—“Infested with moldy goodness.”

Feeling like a kid on Christmas, I opened the crate, careful not to disrupt the labels (even the address label was in a creepy neat design). My mother squealed with glee, exclaiming “I want one!” She also informed me that if these bears were around when I was a kid, I would’ve had one. I know she has designs on the crate, but I’m planning to use it as an end table. A small end table, but an end table nonetheless, lucky thing I’m short.

Shrouded tenderly in black tissue paper lay Abnormal Cyrus: a grey teddy bear with one lime green eyeball perched dead center on his fuzzy little face. His mouth is lovingly sewn shut, and he comes complete with a toe tag, in lieu of a death certificate, which lists his date of death as 12/12/74 & his hobby as “counting the cracks in the ceiling.” The press release sums up the idea behind the inception of Teddy Scares:
Admit it. You lusted for them. You displayed them. You slept with them every night. And then, you dumped your teddy bear. They used to be cuddly and cute. But no more. Maybe it’s vengeance that turns teddy bears into Teddy Scares. Nevertheless, they’re back from the dead, and they’re pissed.

I have never held a bear that was such of high quality. Not only are the clothes real—I mean the T-shirt is of real T-shirt material. Abnormal has genuine overalls made of corduroy, with bona fide pockets! What has he got in his pocketses? A bloody eyeball. Seriously, his other eye is in his pocket for children of all ages to coo and gush over. This one bear isn’t a fluke. I was concerned, as any toy collector is, that the “flag ship” product is an accident, exceptional but a sheer stroke of luck with all subsequent creations siding with pure unadulterated crap. But DiDomenico and Nannay have outdone themselves and established a company that’s sure to send shudders down the spines of those stuffy CEOs at Steiff & Gund. I’m not biased either….ok…Gund did kick us out of their booth at Toyfair…so they stink, and Steiff, while exceptional, has always been just beyond the means of a working-class kid with an annual income significantly below the weekly allowance of tarts like Paris Hilton. Teddy Scares are affordable for bourgeoisie geeks and uber-Goths working in McD’s, retailing for just under $25. Each of the five bears—Rita Mortis, Edwin Morose, Abnormal Cyrus, Hester Golem, and Redmond Gore—are adoringly, painstakingly assembled. Each has a history and each comes with personal accoutrement. Abnormal has his eyeball, Hester has a gut-full of plastic roaches, Rita has a baseball bat, Edwin his broken heart tied in a sack, and Redmond his own bloody axe!

Bravo Joe and Phil for the best damned Teddy Bear I’ve ever received. I cannot wait for the new line to come out, and I’ve got to clear a path in my hobbit hole for the rest of the Teddy Scares crew. Hester Golem has made it into our collection. I would seriously consider a “premium” line of Teddy Scares which would come in the crate. I’m saving up for an Edwin Morose of my very own, and am hoping I can persuade the folks at Appehead to send me another of those crates…. I’m determined to have the coolest set of end-tables on Staten Island.